Paranoid Berkeley Shiksa Feminista

Wet wet wet

2008-02-20T12:37:07Z

So it's been raining pretty hardcore here...

The towers has had more rain already this year than anywhere in Australia.

The towers has already had its yearly rainfall, and we're not even through Feb yet. So it's wet, wet, wet.

On a brighter note, I'm sick. Welcome back ear and throat infection. Yay :-)

Tee Hee Hee

Tis an interesting adventure...

Another day in paradise...not

2008-02-17T02:37:42Z

So today I get screamed at for an hour by my boss, me and the other new teachers, and told we could not note take the screaming match, nor could we talk about it.

We're not allowed to consult one another in any time of need, we are not allowed to discuss policy changes with one another, we are not allowed to share thoughts, concerns, feelings or any other non-sanctioned speech with one another.

We were not allowed to speak in this meeting, we were not allowed to defend ourselves, to comment, to not endure the screaming. We were told we were idiots, illiterate, not qualified to make judgments. We were told we were nothings, and that we have no rights in this place.

Long live freedom and democracy. Long live free speech. But it sure as hell does not exist in the land of the dead, where I work.

Sound like any place hat you've ever heard of?

A long long time ago...I can still remember....

2008-02-12T11:07:08Z

...that somewhere in the LJ universe, I have a blog.

Ok, I admit it, I've been a very very bad LJer. It's been 5 months since my last post. I confess, I have a problem. It's name is Facebook, and it's a very bad addiction (albeit one that I plan on continuing).

So I guess, a quick update of 5 months worth of news:
- We survived "Back to the 80s: The Totally Awesome Musical"
- My lovely Rebekka visited me in the Towers
- My lovely Genevieve and Steve were wed
- Finished school
- Fled to Melbourne (oh my God!!!! so in love with Melb - surprise surprise) for a lovely little visit
- Went to Ally Jaye's christening
- Went cruising New Caledonia and Vanuatu just after Xmas...sigh, so lovely
- Spent a little (and I mean a little!) time at home in Laidley, mainly recovering from incredible amounts of holidaying
- Did the 2 day road trip back to the Towers, and made it home literally 1 hour before the roads flooded over
- Moved into said male friend's house (hi kids if you're reading :-P) to find that our dining room / office at times resembles a swimming pool
- Started school grrr arrggghh
- Decided that I've been a bad LJ friend and will ammend my ways...till next time

What's been happening in LJ land? Is anyone alive out there?

cjaye @ 2007-09-01T18:28:00

2007-09-01T08:33:18Z

It's funny how life turns out. So many times, in so many situations it seems like 'this is it. this is one of those moments that will define the rest of my life'. And then, one day years to come, you can hardly remember the time, the place, the faces, the sounds.

I wonder if it keeps going like this? When does it become the stuff that makes up the lasting pieces of your life - or is this the way it goes? Is life really just a bunch of little fragments that really only ever exist to you, for a while, for as long as your memory holds out?

It's funny how life turns out.

All's fair in rum and coke...

2007-06-11T15:31:26Z

I remember once someone gave me the autobiography title 'All's fair in rum and coke'. I think that there's something in that. Rum...now rum is an altogether fair substance, seeing as it's not beer nor champagne. Coke has never done wrong by anyone, with its suggary goodness that sustains us through the darkest days. And I think that it's safe to say that rum and coke combined has seen many a fair maiden and young gentleman created...think about how it boosts the birth rate. John Howard should endorse it - forget about baby bonuses, more rum and coke for all! Now back to the subject at hand...rum and coke being fair...well let's just say, everything looks fair through the eyes of rum and coke, and let's just keep it that way.

And so I say to you all - darlings, 'All's fair in rum and coke!'. Confused yet?

LJ question of the day...what do you think this is about?

2007-05-08T07:20:33Z

Oh my son look at what I've done
But I'm learning still
Learning still
Know that I am learning still
And oh my wife you are my life
And I am burning still
Burning still
Know that I am burning for you still

And all, all, all of my light is for you
And home, home's anywhere you are too
So take this one fallen man on his knees
Saying forgive me please

Oh my God how you make it hard
Not to pick the apple
Pick the apple
And Lord I long to give it back.

And I was on shaky land
Lost and unsure I opened my hand
And she held it like sinking sand

And all, all, all of my light is for you
And home, home's anywhere you are too
So take this one fallen man on his knees
Saying please

My New Resolution...

2007-05-07T05:59:29Z

To actually post on my blog from time to time! I've been very naughty and living off of reading everyone else's for too long.

So ok...this week i have:

- Sung really loudly in my car to my new Missy Higgins CD
- Cried in front of work colleagues
- Survived the weekend of Country Music Festival in town. O.M.G.
- Talked to too many people on the phone. Ouch phone bill.
- Wondered about whether I might stay here for a while, or whether I will be swept to new adventures
- Avoided doing work (gee that doesn't sound like me does it?!)
- Procrastinated on BEBO. If you don't have bebo, get it, seriously. It's fun.
- Been down way too far for what is reasonable. Resolution to self. Be happier.

Ummm, so yeh....

By the way, did anyone watch the West Wing finale? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Sigh.

xo.

cjaye @ 2007-04-15T11:24:00

2007-04-15T01:24:33Z

Sorry I'm a bit delayed. Am having a little stop-over in hospital because of an ear infection.


	I promise that I will update before I go - but just letting you all know that I will be out of contact from 16-20th April. I'm going on school camp for the whole week, and not even sure if I have mobile reception. Love to all. xo.

My Solo Roadtrip

2007-04-03T06:30:54Z

Hi all,

Am on holiday, currently in Kuranda (near Cairns). Am writing a journal of my trip which I will post on my return. Stay tuned for tales of creepy backpackers, running from the non-existent tsunami, and staying in swanky health resorts (where I am now).

Much love, J.

cjaye @ 2007-03-14T08:38:00

2007-03-13T22:55:41Z

Hello Darlings in LJ land,

I've been trying to put off this entry until I felt better, but that's not seeming to happen so I may as well just post.

So I'm sick of pretty much everything right now. I'm on the phone to one of my friends last night who feels as though I don't value her friendship, that I don't make enough effort. I'm sorry, I must of missed all of the times that she;s called me - cause I HAVEN"T RECEIVED FUCKING ONE!!! I hate people that....I can't even finish this - I;m too angry.

So I say - thank you to all of my beautiful friends that understand me. You have no idea how much you mean to me. How much you get me through the days, weeks, years. I love you all very much.

It's a bit weird here right now. Rumours flying all over the place have made things tense. Arrrghhh. Can you tell I'm irritated?

It was great to see the few people that I did on my visit-on-the-fly recently. It made me realise how much I miss everyone - but also how much I don't belong in Toowoomba anymore. I wish I could just pick up everyone I love and ship them here. Thank you to my darlings Carley, Dave and Allie who took good care of me there. And to my huggers for the evening. Miss you!!

K, id better actually start teaching my class. poo.

xo.

So I've been really crap at updating...

2007-02-27T23:00:52Z

So I've been here for about 6 weeks now and I don't think that I've updated once. Bad me. Slaps wrist.

Life here is so different to what it was before. Crazily so. There are different politics, different hours, different people. It's not any better or worse, just a whole new world.

School is a whole new ballgame. For the last 4 years we've been told that this will be the hardest, scariest thing we will ever do - I tell all those people to go do a theatre degree, cause whilst I'm busy, stressed and all that jazz, it's a walk in the park compared to that world. I never realised until I walked away how much you really do put into that place. And whilst I loved every moment of it, it's nice now to have a job description that stays relatively the same, a staff that is not allowed to belittle me, and a pay that supports me more than adequately. At the same time it lacks that constant adreneline rush to the finish line, but I guess you take the bad with the good.

I've met a whole little beehive of people that i am growing to love. But they're not the same, and they never will be. I miss my comfort, my hugs, my friends.  A couple of them I know will become friends for life though.  He's nice too. Lol.

It's nice to know that a new day will come, with new exciting opportunities, and new potential.

Trust it, it will happen.

cjaye @ 2007-02-14T09:42:00

2007-02-13T23:43:50Z

Please remember that I am forever changed by who you are, and what you meant to me.

Happy Valentines Day. xo.

Going away dinner / coffee

2007-01-03T02:37:35Z

Hey troopers,

I'm thinking about having going away dinner / coffee (whatever everyone can afford) next Wednesday night.

When:   Wednesday the 10th January

Time:     6:30pm

Where:  Coffee Club, Corner Margaret & Victoria Street, Twmba.

'Twould be lovely if you could make it! Let me know if you think you can.

J.

Ae Fond Kiss

2007-01-03T01:13:07Z

Do me a favour ok? One day when you're feeling able to cope with a little bit of melancholy, please please please watch 'Ae Fond Kiss' starring Eva Birthistle.

It's somber, hopeless, lovely, lonely, girly mush - a cross-cultural romeo and juliet, but without the cornball effect.

Very interesting film - promise me you'll do it.

New Year Frivolities

2007-01-02T03:00:11Z

Have been having an awesome New Year so far...here's a recount (cause I know you're so interested :-P).

Got up Sunday and had a very lazy morning, hanging out with Jayden and Tenielle, playing really crappy music, and dancing very poorly. Cruised on in to Indro and caught up with the very lovely Laura B (*kisses*). OMG we were the naughtiest shoppers in the world. I had a great old time staring at people very oddly until they got uncomfortable and started to examine themselves for bits of food, toilet paper hanging out, and the like.

Dropped my car at the lovely Kat's (whom I met in the process), hopped a train to see my Matt who I haven't seen in years!!! He dragged me walking all around, we had a drink, lay on some grass and gossed for ages about our various adventures, loves, hates, and terrible nights of munting. It was great to see him - he is such a special boy (*hug*).

Caught up with Allie for dinner, we talked a lot of crap (and some not crap), watched staff play cricket in Mambo, fended off a guy hitting on Allie, and I continued to stare at people oddly as they walked past. Hehe people are so paranoid. We headed off to Kristian's (one of Allie's friends) for a little, then headed off to the NYE party.

OMG heaven. Such cuties. A great night. OMG. I scored 2 pashes - I from a random that I was dancing with, and one from this 'lil cutie that I met later on. Sigh. Then I got business carded (ick- lol), and we had to head off. We tripped around Bris in Kat's little Barina with no suspension, making Macca's stops (what's a night out without a macca's stop?), and dropping people. I hopped up the stairs when we got back to Kats - Feet SOOOOO sore - and crashed into bed promptly where I was attacked by a crazy sprout-eating vegetarian cat (why it thought that I was a vegetable I will never know).

I managed to drag myself out at around mid-day, drank some coffees for motivation, lazed on the porch for awhile, then decided to head off. Allie and I cruised over to her sister's (god I love my car), had a quick tea, said a goodbye (*tear*), and I was off again. Was driving back from there when I looked over and saw my friend Stace in the car next to me - who I haven't seen since I was in high school!!! I'd lost her number years ago - and there she was! We pulled over on the side of the road and caught up for ages. How random!!!!

From there I tripped home and then to Toowoomba where I spent a lovely night with my beautiful one (who hates the notion of LJ so I wont post her name - you know who you are!). It was our last chance to have a proper hang-out before I go - and I had a great old night catching up. She's such a gem - I'm gonna miss you so much (*tear* once again)!

So that's that. Feet very sore. Heart very content.

Bye Wend

2006-12-28T12:17:03Z

I've just said goodbye to Wendy, who is my best friend in the entire world, and who I wont see again for a very long time.

I'm a blubbering mess.

For those of you that don't know, Wend and I are joined at the hip, we've done everything together since first year, and this is the first time that we've been split up since.

I feel kind of empty, and sad, and excited for her, and proud of her.

I'll miss you Wend. Love you.

I think I’m gonna be sad,
I think it’s today, yeh,
The girl that’s driving me mad,
Is going away.
She’s got a ticket to ride,
She’s got a ticket to ri - hi - hide,
She’s got a ticket to ride

cjaye @ 2006-12-27T22:30:00

2006-12-27T22:30:02Z

What can I do today? I'm bored and without purpose.

Whats happening for new year kids?

Look at my wife - I'm so proud!

2006-12-27T07:01:14Z

Spirit of Christmas drives Bundamba woman

27.12.2006

GABRIELLE WHEATON
THE spirit of Christmas came late to Bundamba woman Wendy Goodrick this year but when it did, she surprised even herself with her generosity. “Well I was surprised ‘cause I thought more people would be offering their cars,” Miss Goodrick said when told she was the first – and only – person to offer help to renal patient Rihari Arama. “He needs my car; there was no other answer I would accept from him but yes,” she said. “Rihari came by my house to look at the car and he was so happy, he took it for a test drive and he glowed. “I agree that he is a lovely man with a kind disposition, I’m glad that I could be of some help.

” Miss Goodrick, 22, came to Mr Arama’s rescue after the Queensland Times last week reported thieves had stolen his car from the Ipswich Hospital renal unit patient car park. Mr Arama’s kidney failure means he must travel from his Marburg home to Ipswich three times a week for dialysis and also to the Princess Alexandra Hospital in Brisbane for treatment. Miss Goodrick offered to donate her car to Mr Arama as she leaves Australia on December 29 to teach drama overseas and would not need it. She was planning to sell her 1989 Nissan Pintara but after learning of Mr Arama’s plight opted to give him the car for free so he could attend his dialysis appointments. However, Miss Goodrick was unable to provide roadworthy certification and registration for the car so appealed for a caring community member or organisation help get Mr Arama back on the road. Her generosity did not end with the gifting of the car as she also went to the trouble of compiling a CD of Beatles music for the new owner to enjoy on his journey to and from Ipswich. Miss Goodwick visited Mr Arama at the renal unit yesterday to drive the car back to his house so it will be ready for him to drive once registration and a safety certificate is organised. Mr Arama took the opportunity yesterday to thank renal unit nursing staff for helping him find a replacement car and also his neighbours Jim, Jane and Gregory Nicholas who drove him to and from his Ipswich appointments. He also made an urgent appeal to have the security cameras in the car park reviewed, as he said there was no footage of the theft and he was concerned another patient may also have their car stolen. Renal unit acting nurse manager Judy Bell also thanked staff, who yesterday said they would chip in and buy Mr Arama a club lock.

Christmas

2006-12-26T05:32:59Z

It's funny how Christmas comes bundled with so much expectation and hope. Every year I have placed a huge amount of faith in the fact that Christmas will somehow appear and make it all better - it will change personalities, habits, and be a day of thinking of others instead of ourselves. It never seems to happen though, and this year I vowed to go in with no expectations. And you know what? It was quite pleasant.

I trekked down to NSW to the step-family's for x-mas this year, and this normally results in tantrums, screaming, latent domestic violence, drunkeness and alcholism, and fighting. But this year I resolved to remain unaffected by it all - and by just ignoring much of the underlying tension managed to have a grand old day!

Four hour car trip down in Leo the Focus helped, he ran smoother than a baby's butt. And with my sound system rigged up with the bass on full - he's a pretty impressive car if I do say so myself.

There was a new introduction to the family this year - Brett who the fam is always trying to get me fixed on has brought home a girl, and she is lovely. Pressure off. Phew. Al even had a great day - which I was really scared about - and kept assuring me every time I asked (which was about every 10 minutes or so).

I received a lovely photo album, new grill for my new house from my new grandparents, and a Tori Amos cd from my mom (she's learning, isn't she cute!).

So with that all out of the way, I pose a question to you, LiveJournal friends, how and when can I see you before I go? I leave around the 15th of January. Please let me know.

Update

2006-12-23T02:19:51Z

So here's me right now...

I am:
- Excited by the new addition to my life, Leo the Ford Focus, he is beautiful and everything I'd dreamed he would be.
- About to drive to NSW for Chrissie day, will return boxing day
- Excited by my new AJ user pic - isn't she cute!
- Concerned that I don't have long left here - I leave around the 15th which is in about 3 weeks
- Feeling good because I did something nice for someone who used to be a good friend but has slipped away, and it has bridged old feelings of animosity
- Feeling very nice and self indulgent, sleeping and West Winging the days away.

mmm...holidays good.

This is my new car...

2006-12-20T21:30:47Z

I get to pick him up on Friday. I'm so essited - the only car I've ever had is Ed!

First line from the first post of each month...thx guys..procrastination

2006-12-20T05:37:58Z

January: Deleted by the wicked LJ fairy

February:    Ditto

March:             Was an absolute train wreck this morning.

April:                Am soooo sick of spending all of my time at uni - like I don't have anything better to do with my time.

May:                 Sick sick sick sick sick...ok i've had my whinge (my minge whinge as Allie would call it).

June:               Arrrgghhhh!!!! It's now 12.17pm, my assignment's due at 4 - you'd think that would motivate me - but no!

July:                 Where was I? Well it's been up and down, but there's light at the end of the tunnel...

August:           Ok I'm feeling a little sheepish after my last entry...was kinda cranky (no duh) then.

September:    What do you do when you start to wonder who you are and what you are doing with your life?

October:          I've just got back from Tenterfield after having gone to Kirdy's 21st.

November:     Is it so wrong to want what I want?

December:     Last week we found out that we have to move, so I packed up my stuff and high-tailed it out of there, leaving a little bit of stuff behind.

                                                                   Moral of the story...I whinge too much. Twas an adventurous year, but mostly a good one.

Yay!!!

2006-12-13T15:20:07Z

I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!

Yay!!!!!

Am moving far, far away. *tear*

I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!

cjaye @ 2006-12-08T03:27:00

2006-12-08T03:27:08Z

So I've been thinking about the nature of my existence right now (big change huh?).

Isn't it amazing how quickly you can forget yourself and become wrapped up in things that really dont matter.

Itsn't it amazing how quickly you can doubt yourself, based on things that other people say.

This has been a time of real reflection for me, and you know what, i think that i'm gonna come out the other side a lot tougher. All week I've faced rejection which is my biggest fear in the whole world (if you really knew me, you'd know that). And you know what, I haven't died. I've cried a lot, retreated a lot, doubted myself, got annoyed at myself, but at the end of the day I have survived. And I'm proud of that.

Inspired by (don't roll your eyes) one of my fav TV queens the other day:

If you really knew me, you would know:
- I fear rejection like nothing else
- I am a lot stronger than people realise
- I realise the fact that I'm not a memorable person, I just try to fight it
- I'm not the person you think I am
- I dont want your pity
- I don't need you to keep telling me that I'm worthwhile (though I appreciate it), I already know.

This has been a very self-obsessed post, but right now i'm realising that that's not always a bad thing. Take care my loves.

cjaye @ 2006-12-05T03:28:00

2006-12-05T03:28:37Z

Spoke to Dr. Daz about doing honours today...looks like it might be a real option for me for next year.

Am having a terrible day - i feel like i'm on a rollercoaster that just wont stop.

Stop the world! I wanna get off!